'Til Death Do Us Part

 'Til death do us part.  Those words...

When you're in your mid 20's getting married, those words seem so distant.  You imagine living a full life with the person you're marrying.  About 60 years?

I was just saying to Matt, days before he died, that we were coming up on a quarter of a century being married.  We were talking about how long that was, but how it felt like it was yesterday, saying our "I do's".  We were talking about what we were going to do once the kids moved out.  And we teased the older ones that once they all moved out, we'd have money to do fun things with our youngest.  We also talked about what we'd do once all the kids moved out.  One thing we really wanted to do was travel.  And Matt's job with the Boilermakers would have made that easy to do, with the summer and winter layoffs.

Our plans are not His plans.

One thing that Matt and I knew before we got married, was that divorce was not an option.  We said, no matter what, we had to work things out.  We actually had a premarital counselor tell us that we were not compatible. Yes, we did disagree on things. But, we truly loved each other and made sacrifices and compromises, without betraying our integrity, to make it work.  It wasn't always easy.  It wasn't always pleasant.  But most of our married life was filled with joy, happiness, and love.  Our fights were few and far between.  We calculated that we had fought about once every five years. Matt had just said after this past Christmas, "It's been about five years since we last fought.  I think we need to just get it out of the way.  What do you want to fight about?" 

I'm going to be honest. This "until death do us part" thing is very painful.  It's really indescribable.  Half of me is gone.  A big empty hole stands where happiness and love used to be.  But, through God's grace, Matt and I kept our vows to Him, "'Til death do us part."  He will always be a part of my life.  And I am so thankful for that.

Until I see you in Heaven, my love...