He's Got This!

I'm writing this first paragraph last. Just to warn you, this post is on the verge of a book. Haha!  I hope no one is offended that I didn't tell them that I was going in for surgery.  I wasn't worrying about it, so I didn't want you to worry about it either.  I did tell a few people so that they could uplift me in prayer.  But for the most part, I really wasn't talking about it.  Let's face it, listening to someone drone on and on about their health issues is . . . well . . . tiring. :)  And that is what this post is about to do. LOL  Since this is in the past though, I thought I'd share how God perfectly timed out something that I thought was so hideous and begged for Him to take away from me.  I wasn't the perfect example of a Christian the entire time.  There were nights where I wondered if He even loved me.  Why would He do this to me?  But of course He loved me.  He died on the cross for me.  Looking back, His love, guidance and direction through this whole thing was ever so clear to me: That's why He's God and I'm not.  "He's got this."  (That would become my mantra the last couple months of my health craziness.)

It all started a year ago. (February 15 to be exact)  I woke up that morning with hives all over my body.  I thought it strange and assumed they would go away.  They didn't.  After researching my symptoms online, I self-diagnosed myself with Uticaria (unexplained hives).  It felt as though my entire body had been bitten by mosquitoes, but no amount of scratching would relieve it.  The itching was in my blood, not on the surface.  After six weeks, and me removing many foods from my diet (thinking that I was allergic to foods), my hives would settle down for a couple weeks.  But then they came back.  Then they went away.  Then they came back.  You get the picture.  This lasted for months.  Luckily for me, my hives were in "remission" when I went to Bermuda.  I was very thankful for that.  On the way home from Bermuda, I was at a friend's house and my throat was feeling full.  It scared me.  I took some Benadryl.  After getting home from vacation in the beginning of July, I decided to call an allergist. (only because I thought my friends were going to kill me if I didn't! haha)  I got an appointment for late July.  So in the meantime I popped Benadryl to keep the itching and facial/throat swelling to a minimum...oh and I slept a lot too.  While waiting for my appointment I had a couple of anaphalactic episodes.  I went to my regular doctor days before my allergist appointment to get an Epi-pen.  I prayed a lot too. :)

I went to see the allergist.  They drew 17 viles of blood.  Because my symptoms were so strange, they ran my blood against everything: foods, environmental, pollens, autoimmune disorders, etc.  The results shocked me.  I had allergies to almost every food (minus chicken, egss & milk).  Also, they found the autoimmune disorder Hashimoto's Disease.  I was immediately sent to an endocrinologist.

I'm not going to get into details, I'll just say that the first endocrinologist I saw was a quack and did not help me at all.  I should have ran screaming when I got the appointment a day and a half after I called to make it.  The waiting list wasn't long at all on that one.  Anyway, I went back to the Allergist a couple weeks later and told her that the doc I went to see didn't help me.  She knew my levels were up.  So she felt my thyroid and told me it was enlarged and that I should have an ultrasound done.  The next day I had it done and they had found a nodule (tumor) on the right side.  My allergist being the proactive gal she is, made an appointment for me to see a surgeon, but I couldn't get into see him for over a month (good sign!).  She also gave me the name of a different endocrinologist, but I couldn't get into see her for almost 2 months (again, good sign!!).

In the meantime, I was trying to reintroduce foods, but I always reacted to them and had to immediately stop.  Disappointing for sure.  Why was it that all of the sudden, out of the blue, I became allergic to, well, everything?!?!

Right after Thanksgiving, I saw the surgeon for a consult (awesome doctor by the way) and he made an appointment for me to get a biopsy done on the tumor in the beginning of December.  Great!

I went in to my appointment in early December and got another ultrasound at the clinic for the biopsy.  They informed me that at that clinic, they didn't biopsy if the lump was less than 2cm.  Mine was 1.6cm.  They still gave me the option of having it done if I wanted to.  I was under so much pressure.  My husband was in the waiting room, so I couldn't discuss it with him.  I seriously did not know what to do.  Our insurance deductible had been met, but I didn't want to base my decision solely on that.  After stalling for a while, I told them not to do it.  I mean, I really didn't want needles being thrust into my neck if they didn't think it was absolutely necessary.  I walked out of the room and regretted my decision.  I prayed for peace about it, but I just wasn't at peace.

I just wanted to hit myself in the head and say "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!".  I blew it.  Big time.

On December 21st, I had my appointment with my new endocrinologist.  I told her all my concerns.  She listened and gave great advice.  She told me about Hashimoto's Disease.  She informed me that my thyroid levels were great and that I wouldn't need to start on any thyroid medication at this point.  And I don't know why, but I brought up the fact that I had a small nodule and had the chance to have a biopsy done, but I didn't do it.  After finding out who my surgeon was, she informed me that she was linked to his office.  She got the paperwork/tests from his office and came back in.  She told me that her office biopsies if the tumor is over 1cm.  Oh good!  Thank you God for saving me from my stupidity!!  I asked her if there was anyway she would be able to do it before the end of the year because of our deductible.  She told me no because of the holidays that were just days away.  I understood.  I was bummed.  I prayed.  She excused herself and was gone for about 10 minutes.  When she came back in the room, she told me that she would biopsy it herself if  I would come back into the office in three hours.  Um...YES!!  Oh, and did I mention that my thyroid numbers looked great and it appeared to be functioning perfectly when she and the surgeon tested them??  (So why the whacky readings a couple of months ago at the allergist's office?  - I'll explain that later.)

I went back in and she did the biopsy.  Later I would find out that she was supposed to be on her Christmas vacation as of 1:00pm, but she was willing to stay after to do this for me!!  Yep, that endocrinologist is a keeper.

Now mind you, I've had severe hives for 10 months and have been unable to eat most foods for 5 months.  On December 23rd, I was at a neighbor's house.  She offered me a holiday treat and without thinking I popped it into my mouth and chewed it.  I could taste the chocolate (allergen), coconut (allergen) and peanuts (allergen).  I swallowed it.  Then it hit me.  Oh no!!!  I just ate that!!  I went home and grabbed my Epi-pen.  I sat there ready.  And I sat there.  And I sat there some more.  Nothing.  Hmmm....  So on Dec 24th  I decided to try some bread.  I ate a small piece.  Nothing.  On Christmas Day, I ate a piece of birthday cake.  Nothing.  No hives.  No itching.  Nothing.  Everyday I added more foods back into my diet.  The amazing thing: No reaction.  They had left me as quick as they came.  Now I personally have a reason for that.  I'll give you that reason at the end of my incredibly long story. :)

December 27th I get a call from my new endocrinologist.  You have suspicious cells in your thyroid.  That doesn't mean you have cancer, but it doesn't mean you don't either.  Well, since I had been in prayer about this whole thing for months, the word cancer didn't concern me.  I knew whatever God had planned for me, I could take.  He does say He won't give us more than we can handle.  I accepted the news surprisingly well and made an appointment to go see the surgeon again on Jan 4th.

He saw me, saw the results of the biopsy and made the appointment for the surgery on Jan 21st.  Again, I won't get into all the details of the scheduling issues involved there because, hey, let's face it, this blog post is long enough.  Let's just say, God worked it out perfectly.  He had this.

January 21st, bright and early in the morning...5am...is anybody really awake and up at 5am???  I desperately prayed that the surgeon would be wide awake and for him not to drink coffee before the surgery.  I needed him to have a steady hand!! haha  I was the first surgery of the morning, and it didn't actually start until 7.  The surgery went well.  They removed the right side of my thyroid.  They tested it for cancer while I was still 'under the knife'.  It came back negative.  They sewed me up.  And I was on my way.  Well, when I say on my way, I mean, so sleep induced I couldn't remember if I had already woken up.  My parents, who so graciously drove about 1000 miles to help me out, took me home.  Matt had to be out of town for the surgery - long story - that's one of the reasons I said a couple of paragraphs ago that God worked it out perfectly.  Okay . . . tangent . . . back to the story.  I woke up around 2pm sick to my stomach.  I got up and looked in the mirror.  The surgeon did a beautiful job.  I had a very thin incision line on my neck and that was it.  It looked great.  I thought, This wasn't so bad.  I went back to bed and couldn't stop feeling like my belly was sick.  I was having a reaction to the anasthetic.  Not to get too graphic.  I wretched and coughed at the same time.  The force of both of those things, blew a hematoma in my neck about the size of a large grapefruit, if not bigger.  All of the sudden, I couldn't swallow too well.  My mom called the doctor.  And we found ourselves on our way to the ER.  Sparing the details of that visit, I stayed overnight, scared a few people who saw me looking like a blow-fish, and was sent home the next day.  Surgery to drain the hematoma was decided against, since they would have had to put me under again and that's why it happened in the first place (anesthesia).  But, I was put on complete bed rest for 7 days . . . Seven looong days.  Have you ever tried it??  Not easy!!

And now here I am, eleven days later, bruised neck, a little bulgy, looking like I've been abused, but happy to be allergy free & tumor free.  Somebody asked me since it was non-cancerous, did I regret the decision to have half of my thyroid taken out.  My answer is an emphatic NO!  I don't regret it.  The tumor was pushing in on my esophagus and causing food to get stuck in my throat constantly.  That didn't start happening until after the tumor was found though.

Now here are 4 of my many "It was a God thing" thoughts:

1.  I get unexplained hives.  I go to an allergist who sends me to an ultrasound tech which spawns the allergist to send me to an endocrinologist who biopsies my thryoid on her Christmas vacation, who finds possible cancer and sends me to one of the greatest surgeons around.  And then the unexplained hives mysteriously go away right after the biopsy was done.  I have to ask myself, would I have ever known that there was something wrong with my thyroid if I would've never had those hives??  I don't think so.  Coincidence?  No.  That's just too bizarre of a scenario.  It was a God thing.

2.  My oldest son prayed for my hives to go away like nobody else I know.  His faithful prayer was so humbling and so raw.  I can't even begin to explain it.  And God answered his prayers.

3.  The allergist tests my blood and my thyroid levels are elevated.  Two months later, the surgeon tests my blood and my thyroid levels are normal  My endocrinologist tests again a month after that and once again the levels are normal.  Would the allergist had ever sent me to my endocrinologist and surgeon if they would have been normal for her too?  I think not.  A God thing!

4.  Through all the challenges of timing, life situations and knowing my husband wasn't going to be able to be there for me (not of his own fault or volition) my family, friends, neighbors and church members all rallied around me and gave me such a great support system.  I've felt so loved and so blessed by them.  Yep, a God thing.

I don't know who will be reading this.  You may think I'm a whacko.  But that's okay.  I know my God got me through this.  I knew He had it handled.  I just needed to trust Him.  And through all this I've learned so much more about Him.  Looking back, I see more clearly how He perfectly orchestrated all of this.  He gave me peace.  He gave me love.  And He gave me hope.  So I want to give Him all the glory for this.